Edinburgh in November

Calton Hill view of Edinburgh

After an excellent day of lectures on animal welfare science and animal ethics, we retreated to the near-legendary basement of Henderson's vegetarian restaurant in New Town, for our first encounter with vegan haggis - not to be confused with the very lively supposedly mythical creature of the same name.

The next morning I began my quest for the living, breathing variety of haggis. This famed beast apparently runs in circles around Scottish hilltops, and accordingly grows with one leg longer than the other. I was advised I was most likely to find them on the top of Arthur's Seat (the furthest and highest peak). However, after discussing vegan haggises for half the previous night, it seemed awfully far to my bloodshot eyes.

Accordingly, I decided to try my luck instead on Calton Hill, which was infinitely closer and a great deal less high.

Round and round the hill I searched, but no haggises did I find, although I did see various interesting monuments. So I went round again, and again... until finally it dawned on me that perhaps the haggises were actually haggis-hunters like me, shrunk small from lack of food, hairy from lack of shaving, and with one leg grown longer than the other. Perhaps after all it was just a self-perpetuating real-time evolutionary ecosystem, at the intersection of sociology, cryptozoology and evolutionary biology! Now there's a lecture topic for the next AWSELVA meeting, I thought... (more likely, though, the haggises were hiding in the trees, laughing at me - cunning blighters).

Mum is convinced we're somehow related to the famous Scottish writer, Sir Walter Scott. So this is his memorial, photographed for you Mum! :) Sorry about the ugly Ferris Wheel - the city is being prepared for Hogmanay, their infamous New Years celebrations.

Calton Hill may or may not have haggises, but does have a really cool cemetery. This 'Political Martyrs' Monument' is for five guys who had the temerity to be influenced by the seditious ideas of the French Revolution, and campaign for greater democracy. Needless to say these upstarts were sentenced to about 14 years each in Australia. Only one made it back alive. I was very proud to see that my countrymen have been causing trouble as far back as the French Revolution. It's a national tradition we continue to take most seriously, to this day.

I was amazed to stumble across the tomb of David Hume, one of the most important figures in the history of Western Philosophy.

Much of the rest of Old Calton Cemetery is similarly wonderful. The battlements in the distance are all that's left of an historic prison.

Edinburgh is also one of Europe's most haunted cities. Ghost tours abound, often straying into the buried streets of the old city, and are definitely recommended.

Soon it was time to seek out my colleagues, who would join me on the best tour beneath the city streets, into Mary King's Close - an entire medieval street up to 30 feet beneath the modern ground, which was abandoned centuries ago when the 'black death' killed fully half of its inhabitants. Although prime real estate, it was considered cursed.

Market Street upper

Needless to say, hundreds of people wanted to explore a street once filled with some of the most lethal bacteria in history, so we could not get onto a tour for two hours. Unfortunately, not quite long enough to do justice to Edinburgh's Castle.

We did, however, see many other weird and wonderful sights along the Royal Mile between the Castle and Holyrood Palace.

We wandered across the Old City, to Greyfriars Cemetery...

Where we discovered the grave of Greyfriars Bobby! This faithful Skye Terrier lingered by the grave of his master for 14 years, until his own death in 1872. 'Let his loyalty and devotion be a lesson to us all', remains inscribed upon his tombstone. Some of his many admirers leave sticks on his grave.

Bobby had a monument erected in his honour...

And a pub named after him, just outside the cemetery. As I understand it, he used to present himself at the back door for lunch, every day for 14 years - his only known food during his long vigil.

Also in the same cemetery can be found some incredible graves, such as this one...

Thomas Riddell is better known to the 99% of us who love Harry Potter as Lord Voldemort. JK Rowling actually wrote her books in this medieval city, and it's sometimes not hard to see where she got her inspiration from.

Standing on Lord Voldemort's grave! Take that, Dark Lord :)

Some 200 of these 'wynds' or 'closes' ran off the spine of the Royal Mile ridge during medieval times. The walls got to about 10 or 12 stories high, and the walls were close enough to touch. The streets hardly saw the sun. All the way down, people lived in semi-darkness, in air thick with smoke, from desperately trying to warm the very crowded rooms and cellars in which they lived. They poured all manner of wastes including their toilets and dead bodies onto the streets, which were eventually washed down into the lake below (which is where the term 'raining cats and dogs' originated). The resulting predictable infectious illness killed about 75% of them before their first birthday.

After walking all over (and beneath) the old city, my colleagues and I were terrifyingly thin.

So we restocked with veg*n haggis! I could eat that stuff forever... Sadly, all too soon it was time to leave, but I'm sure my stomach will lead me back there, someday.